“‘We don’t believe in bedtimes.’ That’s great, but your kid is massively sleep-deprived. ‘We don’t believe in limiting junk food.’ That’s great, but your kid is constipated from a steady diet of Goldfish crackers and nothing else. ‘We believe in only using natural products.’ That’s great, but your kid’s diaper rash isn’t responding to your all-natural organic cream, and you need to see a doctor. It’s great to have parenting ideals, but your child’s needs have to come first.”
“Watching his interactions with his mom and siblings during our conference, it finally dawned on me that he was just not getting any positive attention or affection at home. And I suddenly felt so sad for him. He was really into video games, and I noticed he always wanted to talk to me about them at school. So, I started making it a point to be interested in this any time he wanted to talk. We also continued with his behavior chart, and soon, the tantrums stopped completely. I was able to develop a close and trusting relationship with him just by observing that his parents couldn’t give him the attention he needed.”
“If the immediate response to a teacher’s concern is to completely ignore what the teacher says and throw insults, you know it’s not going to be a productive relationship with the parent, and the kid may ultimately not get what they need due to parental pride and entitlement.”
“It also sets them up for a difficult time in the future because they expect themselves to be perfect, and it’s not possible to be perfect all the time without burning out. I saw a lot of formerly gifted kids stall out in college because of the pressure they and their parents put on themselves to be top of the class. The problem is, there’s limited space up there. You can be a great student, get good grades, turn in good work, and still be middle of the pack.”